People, maybe only some certain individuals, kept telling me that I need to get my life on track and in order...even some good friends talked about it behind my back with people, people I knew, people I know and people I care about. That is not why I decided to get my life back gear. I did it because someone doubted me. I was going to do it when I was ready but they started questioning my dignity, self respect and goals and motives in life, and didn't trust my decisions but at the same time...I am not sure I was able to trust my own. My mind entered this dismal pit of doom and everything I did was without thought and resulted in consequence. I apologize for the ones I annoyed, taunted, didn't trust and doubted, and lost respect from because those where and still are people I care about. I think they doubted me near the end but I never did. That is where I fell deeper into the dismal pit of doom. Since I feel deeper in it has been nearly a year of climbing out and looking at myself and saying, "how did I get out?" More importantly though is, why? Yes, it was a combination of proving people wrong and doing what they thought I couldn't or wouldn't do but it was also me trying to achieve the goals I lost sight of. I was working at the construction site one day and Bernie (step dad) gave me a talk the other about learning all the trades and working my way up etc...but I wasn't interested in working all trades and I realized I would be stuck there for a very long time if I didn't grab my nuts and do the shit I needed to do. It was the middle of the day and I ran outside, called my Mom and told her I am leaving the job site. I burst out sobbing and screaming saying that this is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I don't think I ever cried that hard in my life but also with as much passion about achieving what I want in life. So anyway...I went down to CBC the other day and sat in on a post session of a Titanic documentary. It was awesome, though, I won't bore you with details unless asked haha. (^oh shit my nose is bleeding BRB^) Anyway, yeah, school is going great. Overall, I'm doing pretty great. I still need to shake the rust off but my engine sill runs well....lmfao, whoever is reading is probably thinking, "what the FUCK does that even mean?" I mean SCHOOL! I'm still a bit rusty with the STUDY STUDY STUDY Mayhem thing but it's coming along better than expected haha. (my nose stopped bleeding :3) I still play bass but I've gotten tons better since summer lol not sure how but I just did xD PRACTICE! Same with piano and guitar! Unfortunately I'm not a piano Godess like Carla but I think I might be able to school her with some improv one day ;P lol I know like 3 songs on piano believe it or not lol haha. I was out with Haley Clarke the other day to help her get her phone setup so people can contact her lol ...then on Heywire (internet texting service) I texted her from some random ass number when she was walking home at 2am saying, "I've been watching you for a while." "I see you" "Haley" lmfao and basically I made her shit her pants haha BUT I didn't know it was 2am lol and I didn't know she was walking home alone! So I feel BAD! Sorry -__- lol so now she won't talk to me ANYWAY, I had an exam today -__- actually didn't go too bad but I FUCKED the bonus question up the ass unfortunately :/ Yeah, that translates to I DIDN'T GO SO WELL! Hey I am an ADHD kid with 20 classes, YOU CAN'T WIN THEM ALL! So, right now I am just writing the blog and when I am done I am probably going to work on my post audio assignment and then a bit of my sound synthesis project and then play adventure mode in Super Smash Bros. Brawl because I haven't beaten it and I started from the beginning! YAAWWN! I am tired so I'm gonna go get er done before I fall asleep! LATER GUYS!
Night : )
